Sunday March 23, 2008 March 23, 2008
Posted by Ric in Today's Horoscope.trackback
Ariel quaternates Io in Gemini: You will witness a rare event in church today. While the priest is going on about Easter the one ton crucifix will tear loose from its moorings and fall on him. He will not resurrect.
Mars septuvialates Enceladus in Capricorn: Juan and Maria discover that their live-in English housekeeper has seduced their seventeen year old son and run off with him. Juan traces them as far as Vegas and then loses track. Sometime later Maria’s relatives in Central America will report sighting a young man traveling with a young Englishwoman, and leading a band of armed guerillas in a battle against corrupt police. Despite numerous such sightings Juan and Maria never see their son again. Juan never tells his wife that he was having an affair with the nanny.
Pluto nonaliates Neptune in Scorpio: Your significant other will become insignificant when you see the new neighbor.
Mars unolates Mercury in Aries: A band of psychotic Israelis steal a small nuclear weapon and detonate it off the coast of Tel Aviv. Thousands die. The United States and Israel unleash their nuclear arsenals on Iran. Millions die. Russia unleashes its nuclear missiles against the United States. A hundred million die. China bombs Russia. More tens of millions die. The Pope gives an emergency speech in Latin asking God to bring peace. Everybody bombs the Vatican. Global warming ceases to be an issue. The oil crisis ends. Britain once again becomes a superpower, ruling nothing. Life mutates and goes on. Nobody in the next galaxy cares.
Your Very Own Highly Personal Daily Horoscope 
You never told us, Ric.
Or did you?
Now I know where to go to find the truth.
Even Lions have their dirty little secrets… 🙂