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Saturday March 15, 2008 March 14, 2008

Posted by Ric in Uncategorized.
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Mercury obnubilates Venus in Pisces: You will die today. Tomorrow you won’t be so lucky.

Eris denticulates in Aquarius trine Martha: Sammy and Hookman head out on a fishing trip in a small boat. They become lost in a fog bank and emerge several hours later so far from shore that they cannot see any lights. Shortly thereafter a rogue wave swamps their boat, hurling them into the water where, close to drowning, they are rescued by mermaids. The mermaids transport them to a cavern on an uncharted island where they have their way with the two men. Sometime later Sammy and Hookman find themselves back on shore, and shortly thereafter they divorce their wives, disown their kids, and spend the rest of their lives looking for the island. They never find it, and they die, drunk and alone except for each other, when several merhusbands drag their boat down a mile off Martha’s Vineyard.

Erinome tristigulates Pluto in Scorpio: You will swallow a new pill from the health food store, and due to the influence of Scorpio and the libidinous action of the pill, you will do something really stupid. You would do well to stay away from small furry animals and the neighbor’s daughter.

Ananke grindbumpulates Carme in Cancer: A stripper in a small after hours club in Hong Kong, having a bad day, slaps away the hand of a wealthy businessman who tugs on her little nothing of a garment. He falls and cracks his head open on a table edge and is taken to the hospital, where it is discovered that he is an incredibly high mucky-muck in the Chinese government. Though he does not recover, he does mutter certain state secrets about access codes, which a Nationalist spy transmits to Taiwan. Taiwan uses the codes to access top secret defense computers in China, rendering them completely useless, and allowing a small Nationalist force to invade and take over the country. China falls. Economic markets around the world collapse. The entire globe sinks into an economic depression the likes of which the world will never see again, because after a few months all the humans die of disease and starvation. The last sound the last human hears is the sound of orangutans clapping.

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