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Friday March 14, 2008 March 13, 2008

Posted by Ric in Uncategorized.

Venus mistaculates the Sun in Libra: Your dreams about the next door neighbor are about the come true. It’s not worth it. She’s actually fifteen.

Enceladus demongrelizes Titan in Gemini: Alice and Zelda run away from their husbands and open a small coffee shop in a small town in Nevada. They hire a shaman to provide a steady flow of water for the shop. He is so successful that both women sleep with him. Their husbands, tracking the women down from their home in Indiana, threaten to kill the shaman. The women, using a spell and a potion from the shaman, kill the husbands, bury them in the back yard and plant flowers and shrubs over the graves. The three killers live happily ever after, and the neighbors complement them on their lovely garden.

Nemesis burgeonates Jupiter in Taurus: You will narrowly escape death today. Tomorrow you won’t be so lucky.

Deimos desmaracizes Charon in Leo: During a cockroach race sponsored by Local #1735829 Thugs and Goons Alliance in an old warehouse in Manhattan this evening, several of the creatures escape. So do some of the cockroaches. The warehouse formerly housed a division of the United States Government’s secret biowarfare research department. The cockroaches trek though leakage from a small container left behind, contaminating themselves with a lethal virus, which they spread quickly among the human population. Within three days everyone in Manhattan dies a bloody, screaming, gross, and really really awful death. The government seals the city, but it will be too late. Everybody in the Western Hemisphere dies. No animals will be harmed. The cockroaches make it through unscathed.

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