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Tuesday March 11, 2008 March 11, 2008

Posted by Ric in Uncategorized.
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Gemini quadrangulates Mars in Sagittarius: You will come upon a great deal of money today. Unfortunately the men with guns in the armored car will object to you taking any.

Jupiter triangulizes Mercury in Capricorn: Imelda, despairing of ever having an intelligent conversation with her husband, John, takes a bus to the really bad part of town where she engages in negotiations with a very bad gang of toughs. She and the gang agree on a poetry slam in an abandoned church, and to hold discussions on philosophy in a neutral Starbucks on Tuesdays. Nietzsche will be their first topic. John, on hearing of this, runs off with the mailgirl, who is devotedly taciturn.

Planet X parallelizes Asteroid X in Aries: You will find the love of your life in the big museum downtown today. Unfortunately your relationship will be unsuccessful. She was mummified three thousand years ago.

Jupiter deangulates Saturn by one decan: A rogue titmouse escapes from a downtown Omaha pet store at 3:56 this afternoon, and as it flies out the door it knocks the hat off a little old lady. When she bends to retrieve her hat she loses her balance and falls under a bus, which mushes her. The crowd at the bus stop becomes enraged when they think that an Islamic holy man among them pushed her. A riot will ensue and spread rapidly. The police, outmanned and outgunned, leave for the perimeter of the city to reorganize. When they return at 6:02 p.m. over two hundred thousand people are dead and the center of the city is burned to the ground. The titmouse is not harmed.

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