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Monday March 10, 2008 March 10, 2008

Posted by Ric in Uncategorized.

Asteroid X encliticizes Mars: You will have a peaceful day after discovering that your wife has run off with the postman, the milkman, and paperboy. Your suspicions will be confirmed, and you can get on with your affair with the paperboy’s mother.

Planet Nemesis II orgasmulates Venus: Falafel, having had his, or her, heart broken by the bagel baker, leaves town on foot, carrying only what’s left of his belongings in a small backpack because the baker stole everything else to keep his business afloat. Along the way, not too far out of town, Falafel meets the baker’s youngest daughter, also leaving town afoot after a catastrophic argument with her father. The two rent a room and avenge themselves. Several times. Loudly.

Saturn’s Fourth Ring demurgulates: You will receive a letter in today’s mail. It will have a bulk mail stamp. You will not win anything.

Neptune coagulates Pluto and Charon: A cat, having sneaked past Homeland Security at a Louisiana refinery, sniffs at a worker’s lunchbox, knocking it from its perch on a high tower. The box, made of metal, clips an electrical wire during its fall, shorting out a vital system, which thereupon ignites volatile gases and liquids, leading to a huge explosion which diverts the Mississippi River into Texas, flooding Houston and killing everybody within 100 miles of the city. The cat was not harmed.

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