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September 12, 2007 September 12, 2007

Posted by Ric in Aquarius, Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, Earth, Eris, Gemini, Horoscope, Leo, Libra, Pisces, Planet X, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Taurus, Today's Horoscope, Virgo.
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Jupiter immaculates Pluto: You will fall in love with an Italian prince this week and it will feel like you’ve been the victim of a smack in the belly. But a nice smack.

Neptune demarginalates Mercury: Olly and Olive, having saved all year to go to the Rugby World Cup in France, successfully get there and have a great time. They have such a great time that when Cup play is finished they will get married after fifty-seven years of living together and raising six kids.

Asteroid X undulates with Triton: A gang of white suburban teenagers attack a homeless man downtown in a major East Coast city. Just for laughs they seek to beat him within an inch of his life. Unfortunately for them he is a special forces veteran who is royally pissed off at being homeless after three battle tours of Iraq while these kids sat on their asses. Rumor has it that the kids will be out of the hospital in three or four months and will face charges. The vet is not charged. He remains homeless for another year.

Eris titrates Charon: A mouse, narrowly escaping a trap set behind a restaurant, races through the restaurant kitchen, frightening a new Chinese cook who stumbles against a gas valve. The valve breaks, releasing a huge amount of gas. The restaurant blows up and the fire spreads rapidly through the block of downtown buildings which are already extra crispy because of the drought, which also has caused a water shortage and low water pressure, defeating firefighters. The fire spreads from block to block until the entire city is ablaze. Several hundred people survive. Almost a million die. The mouse is not harmed.

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