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July 5, 2007 July 5, 2007

Posted by Ric in Aquarius, Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, Earth, Eris, Gemini, Horoscope, Leo, Libra, Pisces, Planet X, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Taurus, Today's Horoscope, Virgo.
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Mercury reprobate in Taurus. You will have a fortunate day today. At the end of it you will be alive. Whether you make it to tomorrow morning is another question.

Rogue star explodes in Virgo. Your daughter will run away to join the circus. This will be a problem. She took the wrong cellphone with her and you can’t figure out how to work hers. However, she will be fine. In two weeks she will marry a circus roughneck and have a fine career putting up and taking down circus tents.

Mars in prolapse with Pluto and Neptune. Jack and Penny will win the lottery today, raking in tens of millions of dollars. By the end of July they will be destitute, begging for scraps at the alley doors of restaurants. The relatives to whom they gave a lot of money will turn their backs on them. Desperate, Jack and Penny will become hired assassins, murder all their relatives, and flee to South America, where they will set up a paramilitary operation that will overthrow seven governments.

Asteroid Belt in Iowa, triangulating Jupiter. Seventeen moderately sized asteroids will hit Iowa today, between 3:11 and 4:02 this afternoon. No other state will be harmed. Everyone in Iowa will die, thus throwing the Presidential primaries into complete disarray, leading to the cancellation of the 2008 elections, followed by civil riots all over the country, and the complete destruction of America’s political structure. Jack and Penny, seeing an opportunity, bring their paramilitary operations across the border and take over the United States. They nuke China.

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