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June 28, 2007 June 28, 2007

Posted by Ric in Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, Earth, Gemini, Horoscope, Leo, Libra, Planet X, Sagittarius, Taurus, Today's Horoscope, Virgo.
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Jupiter plunges Gemini. Fourteen old people will get lost in the Rocky Mountains. They will be rescued by a kind bear, who will lead them out of the wilderness, except for the one who insists on being called Senior Citizen. That one will be eaten as a fee for the rescue.

Saturn atones Pluto in Scorpio. You will have to pay the price for that wild sexual fling you had last week with the twenty-one-year-old student. She’ll bill you.

Planet X connubilates Sagittarius. A stranger will move into your town. He has lots of weapons. He is a kind man. You’ll never see him until… well, don’t worry about it until next March.

Comet Y disturbs asteroid belt. Oh, we’re gonna get pounded this afternoon at 5:13. Kiss your BMW goodbye.

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