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June 26, 2007 June 26, 2007

Posted by Ric in Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, Earth, Gemini, Horoscope, Leo, Libra, Planet X, Sagittarius, Taurus, Today's Horoscope, Virgo.
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All planets, moons, and signs are balanced in perfect counterterror with each other. This makes for a boring day until 10:17 a.m.

Corea and Tommy will run away together this afternoon. Racing to Nevada on Corea’s Harley, the pair will marry there, win ninety thousand dollars from a slot machine, and live happily ever after. Or at least until a large piece of satellite space debris hits their house and smushes the both of them as they are making love on a summer afternoon.

A small town in the Midwest will elect an atheist as Mayor. Townsfolk from surrounding towns, incensed, will burn the offending town to the ground, lynch the Mayor, slaughter the offending voters, and then plead to the court that God made them do it. They will win on appeal.

Dean will be fired today. He will go home and take a nap.

A subterranean branch of the Mississippi River will break through the surface in a mighty gusher and blow two cities completely off the map. Nobody survives. The government tries to hush it up, then claims it was a terrorist incident. They bomb Iran in retaliation. The Arab world invades America, kills everybody, and diverts the Mississippi to the Middle East. Life goes on.

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