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June 25, 2007 June 25, 2007

Posted by Ric in Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, Earth, Gemini, Horoscope, Leo, Libra, Planet X, Sagittarius, Taurus, Today's Horoscope, Virgo.

Mercury gomorrahs Mars. The pace of work will pick up, everybody will get edgy and irritable, and someone will put a grenade in the coffeepot. It’s a dud, but by the time SWAT and the bomb squad have been called in, the day will be a loss and everybody can go home early.

Saturn relegates Pluto. A sad day for Grimalda and Sven, as their pet amoeba escapes its cage, slips through a crack in a window and freezes to death in way up north Sweden.

Titan winkies Enceladus. A car full of teenage drunks moons the local police station through the car windows. The car, out of balance due to all the fat buttocks on one side, tips over, and six occupants are rushed to the hospital with severe cases of road rash butt.

Phobos demongulates Deimos. The demongulation happened several days ago, but a chip of Deimos will enter Earth’s atmosphere today at 4:58 this afternoon. It will strike a CIA assassin in Chicago as he prepares to shoot. His missed shot will take out a pair of twin children downtown, leading to hysteria and panic when an angry mob blames the deaths on an Egyptian cab driver who happened to be passing through. He escapes but his cab will be trashed, and the mob and riots will escalate from there, resulting in the complete leveling of the city of Chicago by 6:02 p.m. The assassin escapes notice and receives a promotion for his initiative in promoting studies of urban instability.



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