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June 18, 2007 June 18, 2007

Posted by Ric in Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, Earth, Gemini, Horoscope, Leo, Libra, Planet X, Sagittarius, Taurus, Today's Horoscope, Virgo.
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Mercury predicates Venus. Your significant other will be cited in the Guinness Book of World Records for performing the fastest sex on earth. Often. This person will suspect you of snitching.

Saturn and Mars squeeze Jupiter. Thirteen intrepid base jumpers will leap from a tall building today. None of them will reach the ground. An airliner will need extra cleaning later.

Venus goofs on Pluto. Dark forces will invade your relationships, particularly your relationship with the warlock stripper from that little club down that alley downtown. Sex with warlocks is never a good thing.

Neptune relegates Moon. A municipal water supply plant in a a Western city will unknowingly tap into a previously unknown deep aquifer containing highly radioactive elements. The incredible pressure will blow the water plant apart and flood the city, killing tens of thousands of people. The radioactivity will not affect fish, cats, dogs, or coyotes. Or pumas. Cougars. Skunks. Coati mundis. Snakes. Other living things that aren’t human. Just people. Ripley’s will look into it and Dean Cain will be on site within twenty-four hours.

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