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June 17, 2007 June 17, 2007

Posted by Ric in Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, Earth, Gemini, Horoscope, Leo, Libra, Planet X, Sagittarius, Taurus, Today's Horoscope, Virgo.
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Pluto in the kitchen. Several fathers will suffer food poisoning today eating food prepared by their children, who have not been informed of the germ theory of disease.

Saturn yawns Planet X. Chuck and Marie, on vacation in the Gulf of Mexico, will be eaten by giant clams. Thus they will not have a child and the child will not grow up to be President of a small Central American dictatorship.

Saturn annoys Gemini, which splits. Betsy’s two cats have hatched a plan to get rid of her new boyfriend. His cologne annoys them and he has dandruff. Betsy will be happy with the result.

The disaster originally scheduled for today on Earth has been averted by the unexpected appearance of a giant asteroid in gullibility with Saturn and disdain with Jupiter. This configuration guarantees that on Earth today no human will suffer a violent death.

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