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June 9, 2007 June 9, 2007

Posted by Ric in Horoscope, Today's Horoscope.
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You will meet a tall dark stranger today. He, or she, is phenomenally wealthy, and will completely and utterly ignore you as if you don’t exist, as if you are a bug on the pavement. This does not bode well for your relationship.

Your cat will develop romantic feelings for the dog next door. The local minister will make a great fuss over the immorality of the relationship. The cat won’t give a damn.

Venus will suffer conjunctivitis from a liaison to Mars. Thus, you will not be seeing straight on your blind date tonight. Pluto squaring Planet X suggests your date will be the ugliest person in two solar systems, but will have a good heart and a great sense of humor.

At 3:19 this afternoon the Siberian Traps will begin to erupt again. The permafrost in the region will melt. Vast quantities of water vapor and methane will release into the atmosphere. Several Republicans will open florist shops in the area, hoping to capitalize on the acceleration in climate change that will occur. Their shops will be buried in lava.

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