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June 3, 2007 June 3, 2007

Posted by Ric in Horoscope, Today's Horoscope.
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Saturn is annoyed with Jupiter, but the two will fall out of annoyance this evening at 7:07.

In the meantime, two Carthaginians will approach you for money. It’s best that you turn them down, although they will, in that event, slash your garden hose and salt your geranium bed.

Melvin’s sister will once again try to convince her husband to sleep with her. She will be unsuccessful and will turn to the equally frustrated housewife next door for a variety of solace.

Your cat will have an illicit affair. Nothing will come of it, but the cat will be smug for the rest of the week.

The town of Moscow, Idaho, will be wiped off the map by a huge nuclear explosion caused by an error in an American military computer that was programmed by a high-school dropout. This will happen when Mars sanitizes Pluto at 3:17 this afternoon. The President will say that a terrorist attack was repelled. He will then send the Army to invade Rhode Island, and the Army will be defeated by 9:26 in the evening. There will be repercussions.

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